To a new year and to new beginnings

To a new year and to new beginnings- January 5, 2012

Well, where to start! It's been a long time (a whole month) since my last post but has it ever been a busy month!

December started off great. My practicum was going perfectly, my husband had a couple of courses scheduled and the baby and I were both doing just fine. Then, one day, very early in the month, I ended up taking a little trip to the ER. After spending a night at the hospital, I was put on a week of bed/couch rest, which meant I lost a week of my practicum. Then exactly seven days after that first hospital trip, I ended up there again.  My husband had just flown to Ontario for a course the day I went in and was on a plane back to Alberta the next morning. After five days of about a hundred tests, the doctors decided I was fine, the baby was fine and I was allowed to go home. And that was officially the end of my practicum. Thankfully though, the university is allowing me to finish the last three weeks of it in the spring, after the baby is born, so I will still get to graduate sometime in 2012 (and what a relief that is!!).

Christmas came not too long after I got out of the hospital. My husband and I were lucky enough to have some family come out to visit. We saw my father while I was in the hospital and my mother and step-father visited for a week over the holidays. My uncle visited on Boxing Day for turkey dinner as well. My husband's family was definitely missed this year but we will see them all soon. This was the first time either of us had seen family (other than each other) for Christmas in a few years. Having so many family members around really reminded my of what the season is all about. I thought a lot about how lucky we were this year to actually get to spend a holiday together. We came too close to it not being able to happen.

It's hard to believe that we are already in 2012. I feel like I blinked and missed all of December because of how chaotic the whole month was. I remember, when I first started my practicum in October, thinking how far away the holidays were and how time just seemed to be going so slow. And now Christmas has come and gone, December is over and we have begun another new year.
But what a year we have to look forward to! 2012 is going to be the year for big changes for my husband and I. Back in November, my husband got THE call saying that he's being posted to a new base, but also to (what I think is) his dream job. Without getting into too much detail, he's going to be working with the helicopter that he loves and is going to get to teach the new engineers. I honestly could not be more proud of him and what he's accomplished in his work. We are both extremely excited for this new posting and all of the new adventures this move will take us on.

While we're waiting to get our dates to go look for a new house and find out exactly when we're moving, I get to finish up my last (ever!) university course and finish the last few weeks of teaching. I can't even begin to tell you how thrilled I am that this degree is almost over! With all of the ups and downs I've had, during both degrees really, between my own medical/health issues, deployments and family situations, a big part of me is surprised that I have stuck with it and am just about done. I sometimes wonder just how crazy I have to be to keep going back. But I'm not the kind of person who will willingly back down or quit something so I guess it makes sense that I'm still at it. I'm looking forward to the day that I can hang this degree on the wall next to my first one. It's been a long time coming.

The biggest change of all for us this year is definitely becoming first time parents. Sometimes it seems like it was yesterday that I told my husband I was pregnant but in just seven weeks we will actually be meeting our baby. We're both getting a bit impatient though, waiting to find out if it's a girl or a boy, what he/she will look like, what kind of personality he/she will have, etc. It's all so exciting though and I think a lot of the impatience we feel is really the anticipation of this next step in our lives.

I have to say though, for me, there's a bit of a bittersweet side to all of this. Literally all of my dreams are coming true this year (starting on my wedding day in 2010 actually) but I can't help but feel a bit uneasy. My dream has always been to have a wonderful husband (and I have the best one a girl could ever hope for!), to be a mother (which happens soon) and to have a job as a teacher. And even though I am going to graduate this year, I won't be working. Something I never anticipated or wanted for myself was to be a stay-at-home wife or mother. I've always been the type of person who works more than one job or who has more than one thing going on (like school and work). But I've always managed to balance my work time and my home time. And I've always said that when I have kids, I will still go to work. Unfortunately this year, with a young infant and a husband away on courses, it just doesn't make sense for me to go to work. I'm looking forward to having the time to spend with my child but I'm really nervous about being home. Motherhood honestly feels like it will be easier than staying home.As scary as it all is, I am going to be open-minded about it all and really make the best of the experience. And when the baby is older and my husband's courses slow down a bit, I'll go back to work.

For now though, I am going to put as much energy as I can into getting ahead in my course, making sure the house is ready for a baby and just enjoying the time I have to spend with my husband, before it's not just the two of us anymore. This really is going to be a wonderful, crazy year but I'm ready for it!

Baby Blog #2

Baby Blog #2 – December 6, 2011

Goodbye second trimester, hello home stretch!

First, let me apologize for being so quiet in the blog world over the last while. I have been very busy with my practicum and when it comes down to sleeping or writing a blog, I've been choosing to sleep.

Tonight I decided it's time to fill you all in on how the last few months have been.  Let me tell you, I am so happy to have made it to the 3rd trimester- the end is in sight! My husband and I are both so excited to meet this little person and it's really hard to believe that in just 11 short weeks we will finally get to hold our little creation.

My second trimester was a much better experience than the first. I literally woke up one day and didn't feel sick. I gradually got my energy back and started to feel human again. And the best part, I stopped resenting being pregnant (which only happened because I felt so sick every day). In fact, I started to embrace my "bump" and really enjoy this crazy experience.

I remember the first morning that I felt the baby move. My husband was away on course but I called him while I was walking to school and told him all about it. And I loved the excitement in his voice that morning. I think that day was when the pregnancy finally started to feel real to us both. Since then, we've been having fun playing with the belly and trying to get the baby to interact with us a bit. I find myself laying down and just keeping my hands on my belly, trying to feel something. And I usually get some kind of response but the baby already has a mind of its own and plays tricks on us. It'll give me a few good kicks in a row and I'll call my husband over to feel it and the second he puts his hand on my belly the baby stops. Then starts again as soon as he moves. We've definitely got a silly baby already!

One of my biggest fears throughout this whole pregnancy so far was gaining too much weight. I know I'm supposed to gain some but I really didn't want to put on so much that it ends up being too hard to loose it all afterwards. But I'm happy to say that, due to some really awesome willpower that I didn't even know I had, I've avoided most cravings (I give in once every couple of weeks though) and haven't put on a whole lot (I think I'm up 21 lbs in 28 weeks). I've been able to keep wearing a lot of my pre-preggo shirts and pants too, which I'm pretty happy about too. I know that's all going to change over the coming weeks but for now I will continue to be proud of myself for it.

I think the best part of the second trimester has been the fact that I have really felt like myself again- just a bigger version! Before I got pregnant, I was able to shake things off pretty easily and for the first few months of pregnancy every negative comment really drove me crazy and I stewed over things for a long time. Now, things still bother me a bit but I am able to shake things off again and control my emotions again. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. And I finally felt the real excitement that I'm supposed to feel with pregnancy.

As much as I am enjoying this experience though, I am ready for it to come to an end soon. Nine months is a very long time to have to wait to meet a person you've wanted to meet your whole life. But while I wait for the next 11 weeks to be over, I will enjoy the quiet of my home and the last time it'll just be me and my husband alone, just the two of us.

A Time to Remember

A Time to Remember- November 12, 2011

This week was the first time I got to experience Remembrance Day in an inner city school setting and it really opened my eyes. Not only were some of the students unaware of the meaning of the day, but some of the administration seemed to forget what the day was really about when it came down to planning the assembly. The whole assembly was about keeping peace in the community, the school and in families and really disregarded the whole concept of remembering why November 11th is so important.

I spent most of the week working with my students (I say "mine" as if it's my own class but they are the students I get to work with while I do my student teaching) on different Remembrance Day activities. We read a story by another military wife blogger called "My Hero Wears Combat Boots" and the students wrote about who their own heroes are. We also made poppies and, as part of my school project, wrote "Thank You" messages to send around the country to various military bases.
It really made me sad to see that this generation of kids isn't being taught about the importance of Remembrance Day. I wondered all day yesterday how many of my students actually attended a service. And honestly, I would be surprised if more than 3 of them went. The whole week really opened my eyes to how important it is for teachers to remember to talk to their students about Remembrance Day and to help them understand why we need to take the time to remember the men and women who fought in so many wars to make sure that we are able to live the way we do.
I was fortunate enough yesterday to be able to attend a service with my husband, who was supposed to be away with work for the weekend until the weather changed their plans. This is the first time since we were posted up north that we've gotten to spend the day together. I looked around the room during the service and saw so many proud military members and their families gathered together to remember. It is really a wonderful family to be a part of.

There are really no words to express how grateful I am to all of the soldiers- past, present and future, for all that they have done for for us all. They are the reason we are able to live safely and freely. Thank you for all you have done, all you continue to do and for all that is yet to be done. You are all heroes to so many.

I hope everyone took a moment yesterday to thank a soldier or at least to think about the men and women who sacrificed their lives for yours; who have left their families behind to protect yours and who continue to fight everyday to keep you sage.

My "thank you" is to a husband, a father-to-be, a soldier and to my hero. My husband is truly a wonderful, selfless man who continues to amaze me every day. Thank you, for everything you've done. And thank you for showing me what true love and happiness is all about.  xo

Holiday Weekend

Holiday Weekend 10/10/11

Holidays are the times families and friends get together and share lots of stories, memories and usually some great food. It's a time to just be surrounded by the people you love and to feel safe and secure. Unfortunately for many military families, holidays tend to come and go with important family members missing.

This weekend was the Canadian Thanksgiving. I have always loved the holidays- the decorations all over the house, the smell of wonderful food in the oven. And just the atmosphere of family members who are so happy to see each other.

This year, my Thanksgiving had all of the decorations and food, but there was no family this year. There seems to be a trend happening that my husband is either deployed or on course during the holidays. So for me, one of the hardest things about this life, especially when he's away, is living so far away from my family. I always miss them more during the holidays. So this year, rather than spend Thanksgiving alone, I had four of my closest friends in the city over for a ladies nights. We had turkey dinner, potluck style. So the night was filled with too much food, lots of laughter, and amazing people. One thing I've learned over the years is that friends can very quickly become family, and that's how I feel about the ones I have met here. They all have a way of really making a person feel welcome.

I realized this year that I have so much to be thankful for, too much to list really. But with all of the things that happened this year, I don't know how I would have gotten through it without my mom, my dad and my grandmother. I am so thankful to have these three people in my life, and I probably don't tell them that enough but they have really been huge contributors to the strength I needed this year. They reminded me what it was like to really be able to count on someone.

And of course, my husband- the love of my life. What he and I have is by far the thing I am most thankful for and proud of. I missed him so much over this holiday weekend but I'm looking forward to seeing him in just a few days. It's always hard to be apart during the holidays but I just keep reminding myself that as one day passes, we're one day closer to being together again.

So, as another Thanksgiving comes to an end, I hope all those who celebrated had a wonderful weekend, filled with family and friends and lots of great food. And that you were able to find some way to make it special, no matter what the circumstances were.

Something to Think About

Something to Think About 09/28/11

I was on the train after school today, talking to a classmate who really gave me something to think about. We got to talking about what our husbands do for a living and I mentioned that mine is in the Air Force. When she asked if he'd been overseas I told her he had been three times and actually just came home in May. The fact that he's only been home a few months still comes as a shock to some people since I am now pregnant and really looking like it! I also mentioned that technically he wasn't actually scheduled to be home until possibly September but came home due to medical reasons. She said we have an amazing story and that we are having a miracle baby. I'm not really the kind of person who believes in miracles or gifts from above but she definitely gave me something to think about.

I actually thought about this for quite awhile this afternoon. I realized how much people seem to dwell on the negatives that happen and really fail to see the silver lining in things. All summer I have been struggling with how to deal with the helicopter crash and all the stuff that happened after and really how to sift through all of my emotions. When my husband came home early, I thought all of the bad feelings would go away but they didn't. I've had a hard time realizing that things could have been a lot worse and that we really have a lot to be thankful for.

As I said earlier, he wasn't scheduled to be home from Afghanistan until possibly September. But when the crash happened and he got injured, he was able to come home in May. That in itself is a huge positive that came out of all of this. And if he hadn't come home early, we definitely would not be expecting our first child right now. And if he wasn't home until September, well, we'd still be trying to get pregnant. So really, this baby is special in so many more ways than I first thought.  There were a few times this summer that I really did realize how lucky we were and how special this baby is but the fears and worries surrounding everything else always crept back in. Now, I guess after having someone outside of the situation say it out loud, I really clued in that my baby is the best and most positive thing that has resulted from the nightmare that we all went through this summer. I just feel sad that it took me this long to realize it.

I may not believe in miracles but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I guess everything we went through over the past few months happened so that this baby could be born. And I think that's pretty awesome. Now to find away to make the next four and a half months go by faster so I can meet him/her...  :)