All of our friends and their littles are prepping for the first day of school tomorrow. Tomorrow school be our son's first day of school too. He's 4 1/2 years old and his first day of junior kindergarten is tomorrow. Instead of going to school, we are going to the hospital to get chemo. As I sit here preparing my home school activities and make my plans, I am reminded of how different my life has become.
Three months ago I was working full time, teaching and working as an educational assistant and planning to have a great summer off with my son. It was to be the last summer off before kindergarten and before I go back to work again. We had plans to go to museums and have play dates with friends. I had already purchased my son's personalized lunch box for school and was getting ready to order labels for his things. As an educator and the mom of a brilliant little boy, I have been looking forward to him starting school for a long time. I was so excited to how he'll flourish within the walls of the school and to see how he'd grow and succeed.
Now, I am planning a home school curriculum with as many games and fun activities as I can, while I try to make up for the fact that my 4 1/2 year old won't get to go to school this year. That his cute personalized lunch box is now the home of many of his robot toys. That I don't have to order the adorable name labels I had picked out. I am trying to make up for the fact that he won't get to meet his teachers and meet new friends. That I am going to be mom, teacher and playmate.
I now have to explain to my son every time we drive by his "new school" that he won't get to go this year. That because of his special medicine and his cancer, he has to stay home because it's not safe to go to school.
While I'm so very happy for all of my friends and their littles who are beginning their school journeys or who are heading back to school, I am heartbroken for my son. I wish things were different for him. My heart just aches for all of the experiences he will miss his year and the friendships he won't get to create.
